Growth Doesn't Always Mean Changing Your Mind

A vegan's journey through hunting, curiosity and understanding.

by Courtney Williamson

Exploring the bush

When I look at this photograph of myself backpacking a deer, I still don't quite know how to feel.

Part of me sees a beautiful wild animal that, only days earlier, had been alive. My stomach tightens. But another part of me feels gratitude. This animal will nourish families, nothing will go to waste, and I now have a deeper understanding of the journey from forest to food.

Feelings don't have to compete with each other. They can simply exist, side by side.

I've been vegetarian since I was a child and vegan for more than a decade. Over the past year, I found myself questioning whether I wanted to reintroduce meat into my diet. The curiosity came from imagining a more semi-off-grid lifestyle and wondering whether I was missing something, whether there were aspects of nourishment that I hadn't experienced through a plant-based diet.

I didn't want to make that decision naively or from a place of assumption. I wanted to understand the process, to be part of the journey, and to explore whether my values of sustainability, respect and resourcefulness could align with eating meat.

That curiosity led me to join my friend at the Wild Chix Introduction to Hunting weekend at Sika Lodge.

Fifteen women from across the country gathered in a fire-lit lounge, antlers hanging on the walls, introducing ourselves and sharing our reasons for being there. Everyone arrived with their own story, but there was a common thread connecting us: a respect for nature, a desire to learn, and values of sustainability, self-reliance, mindfulness, and community.

I felt I was in a space where I could be curious. A space where I could ask questions, challenge my own assumptions and explore something unfamiliar without judgement.

One of the first things we did together was walk down a gravel road in complete darkness. No rushing, no talking, just the crunch of boots beneath our feet and the sounds of the bush slowly waking around us. It wasn't about getting somewhere. It was about slowing down, grounding ourselves and becoming present before stepping into the forest.

That moment set the tone for the whole weekend.

Courtney nailing the target shooting

I realised hunting wasn't simply about taking a life. It is about responsibility to understand where food comes from, to respect the animal, to acknowledge our place within nature, and that it takes great skills to successfully hunt.

What also surpised me was how transferable the skills are. Morning and evening stalks reminded me of foraging: moving slowly, observing carefully and building a relationship with the environment around me. Map reading and navigation connected with my interest of orientation. Butchering became an extension of culinary skills, giving me a greater appreciation for using food intentionally.

Something else I didn't expect was how safe I would feel within the group. Katie, Kim and Daina created a weekend of warmth, encouragement and fun. There was never pressure to push through discomfort. We were reminded to check in with ourselves, to take a break when needed, and to honour our own boundaries.

Two months on, I have decided that eating meat is still not for me right now. But I also know that this experience changed the way I think about hunting, food and my relationship with nature and within myself.

I can grieve for an animal and be grateful for the food it provides.

I can be vegan and still want to understand hunting.

I can attend a hunting course and decide not to eat meat.

I can leave feeling more empowered, more connected and more informed without changing my diet.

Growth does’t have to mean changing the way we live. Sometimes it's about being open enough to understand a different perspective.

The biggest challenge - backpacking a deer