Eat your Heart Out: Curls, Culture & Kills

Firsts are a big deal in my house. From first steps and first loves to first fish and first wins, we celebrate them all - not just for the achievement, but for what they represent: courage, growth, and being fully alive. And, okay, possibly because I like to throw a well-planned party… 🤔🤣

Maybe it’s a Millennial thing, living in the Participation Awards era, but I’ve always believed in honouring those “firsts” - especially the ones that push you out of your comfort zone. Growing up with Boomer parents, we got a lot of tough love, and I probably strived a little too hard for those four little words: “I’m proud of you.” Which, let’s be real, probably turned me into the world’s biggest overachiever (check my resumé if you don’t believe me 😂). But it also helped me realise that, as a parent, friend, partner, I have the power to create a space where moments like these - messy, wild, and courageous firsts - really feel valued.

That’s why eating your first deer heart, your first tuna heart, or even a swordfish eyeball resonates with me. It’s raw, visceral, and unforgettable - the ultimate way of saying, “I did it. This moment matters.”

I’d always wanted to get my firearms license, but life happened, and it stayed firmly in the “I’ll do it one day” category. Meeting Isabell? I feel like it was written in the stars. Who knew that signing up for a breathwork course would lead me to smashing some lifelong goals alongside a powerhouse gal who I am lucky to know.

As Christmas approached, I couldn’t believe my dear friend had planned a surprise adventure for me at McLaren’s Falls. As a mum, I'm used to planning surprises for others, so having someone do that for me gave me all the butterflies.

When she asked me to meet her in comfy clothes at 9am - I had my daughters formal prizegiving at 11 that same day - I arrived ready to juggle it all as most solo mums can: comfy clothes, curled hair, and lashes to (literally) kill for.

"Follow me," she said. Katie (our amazing Wild Chef!) and I were totally in the dark until Isabell pulled up to a farm, dropped the tailgate, pulled out her rifle, and said, “Okay girls, let’s go shoot your first deer.”

Panic. Instant panic.  I thought we were going to have a bloody Christmas picnic (pun intended) – I should have known better 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

Isabell talks about stepping outside comfort zones, and I preach the same thing at Wild Chix seminars. Now, I had to live it. I had never fired a rifle of any bigger calibre than a .22, so getting a deer in the scope of her 7mm-08 was exciting even in itself. I had never in my life aimed a gun at ANYTHING alive, so this moment was significant for me in many ways.

Once Katie and I both taken our shots and had our first deer kills under our belts, we are Wild Chix. So of course we went and gutted those deer ourselves and helped to hang them in the shed.

But first, Isabell gave me the gentle nudge: “Aren’t you going to eat it’s heart?”. So, standing in a paddock, curls and all, I reached my hands into the guts, cut out the heart, and did the thing you’re meant to do. A proper Daenerys moment, and although it wasn’t exactly pleasant, I must admit it was better than eating the swordfish starburst after my first broadbill 😳

This moment just got me thinking, what is this tradition? Why do we eat things from our “firsts” – Luke (an extremely experienced charter boat skipper and accomplished fisherman) couldn’t tell me why I had to pick bits of swordfish eye ball out of my teeth, Katie and Isabell – both with years of experience and with guns and avid huntresses - didn’t know why you eat the heart of your first deer, and not a single fisher person I know (and I know a lot!) could answer the same questions I had when munching on a beating tuna heart.

Later in the summer, I fished the Tauranga Sport Fish Clubs Fish n Chicks comp in Feb – and although it was an absolute abysmal season for marlin on the east coast this year, the yellowfin were going off hot.

Many of my fellow pirate princesses out there caught their first tuna, and I was so here for it. I was included in that line up, and naturally I did what most do when they achieve this goal and took a healthy bite out of the still pumping tuna heart… Here was little Nelly thinking it would just taste like tuna sashimi. Can confirm, it absolutely DOES NOT.

Which brought me right back around to the question: WHY?

Is it for bragging rights? Celebration? Tradition? Initiation? Spiritual? Stupidity? Giving the crew a laugh when you gag and want to spit it out?

Well, my ADHD brain went into hyperfocus on this, and I can confirm for you, it is all the above.

Shanel's first deer heart

Cultures from across the world celebrate first kills in many ways, but eating the heart of the animal you’ve killed is more than just for ego. It’s rooted in deep cultural beliefs.

Taking a life, you step into an ancient dance between hunter and hunted, predator and prey. It means something that this animal gave its life to nourish your family, and the heart is its lifeforce.

Eating the heart of the beasts you kill has origins in tribal North America, and they believe that by consuming the heart of game mammals, you not only show your deep respect and gratitude for this animal’s sacrifice, but it is also a transfer of the animal’s strength, bravery and vitality. I didn’t really fancy it raw and still pumping blood that day, but I took my heart home where I then prepared and enjoyed it cooked. It was actually really delicious when processed correctly, add a little balsamic and plum dressing, and I will certainly do this again! Not that I could get my kids to try it…

Tuna are a treasured species in Japanese culture, so it was no surprise to me that this is where the practice is believed to have originated. It has since been adopted by fishermen worldwide. Traditional beliefs are that consuming the heart of your first tuna will bring good luck and success in future fishing endeavors. I can’t say that I have seen this happen for me personally, but maybe I just need to try again with the next one 🤣

And if you’re a fisherperson, you’ll know that swordfish are notoriously feisty and can be hard to catch. They are a revered apex predator of the deep oceans found in temperate and tropical waters across the globe. So, catching one is a big deal for many, and that rite of passage of eating the eye comes from many pacific regions – not just a piss take as I thought when I was standing there holding the damn thing and told to put it in my mouth. It’s considered “the eye of the ocean” – a portal into the wild depths and a reminder that we are part of something much larger. Acknowledging the oceans gaze and power it holds, a promise of respect from fishergal to the sea.

It was also really gross, so it could just be that they say this stuff to make you feel better 😝

I can’t say that I regret any of these moments, even though while I was living through them my gut instinct hovered somewhere between mild hazing disguised as tradition, and some sort of wild initiation rite. Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing or why, but there was something in me that whispered, “this moment matters, honor it”. So I did the things. Hearts, eyes, guts and all.

Looking back, I am pleased I was brave enough to complete the tasks at hand even though I didn’t know at the time what they truly meant. I simply knew there was something ancient and powerful to them. I didn’t just consume something in those moments. I became part of a lineage. Of hunters, gatherers, warriors, and wild women who looked those same moments dead in the eye and said: Thank you. I will carry this with me now.

And let’s be honest, who doesn’t love getting a little bit feral, primal and wild. ❤️

How about a Tuna heart?

If you are reading this, and you have a story of your “first” we’d love to hear it, celebrate with you, or maybe even be a part of the journey to your first wild encounter. That’s what Wild Chix is all about for me – sharing the love, adventure and laughter with all of you! We are launching a membership platform soon, so watch this space, sign up to our mailing list and the first to know when it’s live so we can be the first to celebrate your wins with you! Go get it girls ✨

S x